Lacrosse doesn’t really bring me any joy anymore…its gotten to the point where I just sit in my car and cry on the drive home.
i wish i was like an average person who can show feelings and who enjoys interaction with people. it’s really sad because he’s the one person i can stand and i still let stupid shit get in the way. who gets mad over mac and cheese? oh right, fucked up me.
if i get cheated on im leaving. i don’t wanna have to live my life getting angry all over again or having him lie. i wish i could say i want a marriage like my parent’s but that would be bullshit.
smiling is like a chore. laughing is fake. and talking just seems pointless. i’m fucked up and forgotten.
